These two were written recently after listening to a friend that had been going through some troubling times in her relationship. It's hard for me to know the right thing to say but I think someone to listen is sometimes the best thing you can do.
The basic facts are that she still loves the guy but needs change. He won't talk and in the background a long time friend has confessed his love for her- nice timing, not! Tried to put all this down in the first poem...

Losing & Hoping

The echoing silence of our discontent
Emanate through this room
A distrust of our feelings for the thought
We are ending too soon
How many nights, sleepless
Restless, lonely nights
Have I spent wasted to find
You’re not willing to fight
Youth they say
Is wasted on the young
Mine is being wasted waiting to know
If you’re the one
Shadowy figures take on the most
Respectable form
Moments past, unrequited love
Leaving relationships torn
A feeble request, I feel is not too much
To ask
Is talk to me, please, or I fear
We will be lost in the past
Absence they say
Makes the heart grow fonder
But alas, my love
It has only taught ours to wander
Oceans apart, the season of joy
At our door
For us I would think
There will be no joy at all
There shall be a time
Where I will mourn for the loss
But I will think of the happiness
The first time our paths crossed
When one door closes, another they say
Opens
‘I wish for you my best’
Will be my last words spoken



Joshua Tree

Sadness at times gives the most vivid of views
Smiling in the face of the hurt that breaks you
Many small things that bunch together and cumulate
Turn into tears that can release and help germinate
New thoughts and ideas that were lost in the past
Re-occurring once again but this time they will last
For the seeds that were sown in days gone by
Were not fertilized or watered by the tears from your eyes
Now these small seedlings are strong and break free
Of the earth that was holding them back needlessly
Finally seeing the first light of their days
They will now strengthen and blossom through endless sunrays
I may not at times say the wisest of things
But all I have tried is to give your seeds wings
Often we make bad decisions on our own
So it is good to know at these times, we are never alone.

Probably two of my favourite poems that I have written. TYML was written in years & years ago, and pretty much says I am sick of meeting people that will not be with me through the hard times. It also shows a little lack of hope that I feel from time to time.
The second one was written only a year or so ago when meeting a new girl hoping that maybe this time i would actually open up to this one.. Definitely optimistic here!

TO YOU MY LOVE

Suffering is a state of mind
My life, my love is now divine
The woes of death have returned
Turn around and watch me burn
The secret life I leave behind
Will not change my unclean mind
A righteous life, I have not lead
I can not get this out my head
Relish in the thoughts of past
Journey into what will last
My life, my love I leave with you
Returning I will be untrue
The caring suffering of my friends
To you, that I will make amends
The fears that I can never face
Will be the end of my race
Suffering is a state of mind
To you, my love I never will find



WAITING HOPE

To internally, blissfully, surrender to one
Or am I intent to surrender to none
Do I open myself for happiness to find
Is my distrust of love leaving me blind
To what do I fear, am I running alone
Apprehension in me, the source unknown
O why, O why, constant questions I ask
My true inner feelings I constantly mask
Patience a virtue, an unnerving new friend
Please don’t make you my love, right through to the end
Will I let the window of hope open up
Let the healing winds of love fill my cup
Challenges, decisions, am I fit for the task
Am I here for the end game, will the winds truly last
I wait unconsciously for the feeling to come
To internally, blissfully, surrender to one

I'm going to put in some poems I wrote quite a while ago but still have relevance for me today as I go through the usual relationship troubles as we all do...

WARNING

Syncopated rhythms
My mind a constant beat
Run around the mill
My life’s a thorough thrill
Masses and clashes
Confrontation at every corner
My life is ending
How can I warn her

Authority at my back
Got to keep from looking grim
Mission: Receive the goods
My terrorists move in
I find I trip out
Whatever have I done
Things are looking desperate
How can I warn her

Undefined borders
Of space and of time
The only real borders
Are of the heart and of the mind
Soon my time is passing
For I am not everlasting
Extenuating circumstances
How can I warn her




LIFE GOES ON

Spinning and spinning the world away
There goes another dream
There goes another day
Thoughtless accounts of
Months gone by
Thinking of where and
When I shall die
Memories linger as life
Goes on
Wishing only to know
What went wrong
My flagellant past
Reminds me of my future
Secret lies leave nothing
To ponder
My journey ends as it begun
Crying and crying as
Life must go on

Continuing on my bleak look on the world this week comes from more of the same thought process. I don't really believe that I have a bad view of things that some may think, but I do make some things larger than life I'm sure..
I do tend to take others problems on and ponder on them, looking at all angles. Every now and then i get annoyed. That is the theme here!


Disheartened

I don't like you
Everything I said is wrong
Everything I felt is gone
Feelings that were energised
Have turned into pure demise
Decimating any and all the love
I ever felt for you
The puppet play you control
All the players filling their role
Any and all the advice I shared
Mean absolutely nothing, you've shown you don't care
I can no longer stand by and condone your low acts
I hate what you've become, you're a heartless relationship hypochondriac
The only thing wrong in the relationship is you
I'm sorry I had to say it, but that piece of advice is overdue.

Ok. A few close friends are going through some issues that to me, have some relatively easy answers to. Some I feel are so fundamentally simple, that even a chimp could point them out. Well I write to get things off my chest so this is my take on their situation..

Karma

I can't understand the needless pain
That others endure in the pursuit of happiness
Stress, pain and constant suffering
For this elitist prize that forever eludes them
I leave my shoes at the door
And tread on these eggshells barefoot
Hoping that I am the only one who hears them crack
Ashamed that decisions that are so easy to make
Are left, unchanged, to let the pain and the suffering continue
Places and faces and time ever passing
How long do we hold onto each other
What mysteries are there left to unlock
What prizes are there left to seek
I feel an ever present burden upon my shoulders
That should not be mine to bear
Childish human nature, a very common trait
I am growing to love you less and less each day

Probably a good place to start is here: A poem I wrote years & years ago. I write pretty randomly & don't follow much of a formula. Most are a rambling of what ever sparked my pen to paper. Not sure if any body will get anything out of them but I'm sending them out nonetheless.. This one is titled -

Myself

I don't know you
But you know me
I can't say who you are
But you can see who I am
I do not feel shame
As I do not know you
I do not feel pain
As I do not know who you are

I know myself as well
As I know you
I can not say how
Long I have not known
Myself
But I can't see past
Myself
My changing ways
Carried by the
Ways of freedom
Confined by my own
Self esteem

You can see past
My exterior walls
As you are an
Heiress
You see not who
I am
But who
I can be

I can not redeem
Myself
Of any wrong doing
As I only see
What I have done
I do not look at
Anyone
As they look at me
I can not see you
My eyes are blurred
My ears are blocked
My mouth is numb

Do not impose
Yourself
On me
I don't have the power
To resist
I can not sit here
And watch
I have to take part

I love you
I love you all
I feel your anger
I feel your pain
Free me from my pestering self
Free me from this beating heart
I do not want to feel

Please do not anger me
See me as I see you
Feel for me as I
Feel for you
Writings on the wall
Express
Many things I can not say

I write as I read
I see as I feel
Please don't try
To right the wrongs
Sit back and watch
The ring on my finger
Is not here
I have nothing at all
As you have all

I know you can see
Parts of me
I can't see of you
You see me in a
Different light
You're bitter
Despair
As I walk along the line
Stumbling and falling
As I go

I can see the world
Though it can not
See me
I read the writings on
The wall
I translate them into
My language
I feel the rain
I feel the pain
I need to
See you

Never been a blogger or considered writing one. This is just a space for me to record things that happen or things I have written, in an open forum, and anonymously. Not looking for too much, just going to put things out there so I can let a bit of pressure off without naming names. Possibly.. It's a little new to me so here goes..